Can Purell be used as lube?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
