i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize