I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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