he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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