I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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