One girl and one boy is just not enough.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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