He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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