Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
