Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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