Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
