So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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