woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
