There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
