I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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