so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
4 words: hood of his car
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
