why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
