omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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