at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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