I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
