remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize