walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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