Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
