Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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