It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
