WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you had me at cake vodka
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
