Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
