the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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