so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
