i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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