So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
