I want to stick my p in your. b.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
