please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
