It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize