he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
