Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
