and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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