I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
