Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
