Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
