i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
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Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
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I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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