GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
