Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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