I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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