my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
