All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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