Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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