So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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