the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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