I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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