i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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