I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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