p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I had to cum in my sink.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
