The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
