Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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