windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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