she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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