How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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