i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
