That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
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I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
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Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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