Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
