Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
